Birthday fun in the sun, minus one

Waikiki Beach was the first tropical sand my toes ever knew. It was a last minute surprise visit to see my vacationing Mom and Dad in 1983. I convinced my roommate Randy that a week in the island sun would be a fantastic getaway. The white push button house phone in the Reef Hotel lobby rang my parent’s room. My Mom was curious to hear from me thinking something might be wrong on the home front. I asked her if they were expecting any visitors. It was a most beautiful surprise when she finally realized the reason for my question. Today, seated in 40G headed back solo to the Emerald City, my heart recounts 30 years of family memories made on the beaches of Hawaii.

Dad and Kathy in Hawaii
Dad and Kathy in Hawaii

This voyage had a similar plan to the very first one. My oldest sister Kathy wanted her siblings to celebrate her 60th in similar fashion to how we brought in her 50th. As the plan came together, my 86 year old Dad joined the list as he showed enthusiasm for a return trip to Pearl Harbor. Unfortunately, my calendar of events would keep me tied up, so I thought. It also happens that Kathy shares a birthday with my daughter Daniela, a tough event to miss. 

Kathy continued to remind me that an open spot awaited and like oldest sisters should, she pressed I was the only one not coming! With each invitation, I begged her forgiveness without much success. As the weeks neared, a series of events changed which opened a hand full of days that included December 5th

Much like that first flight to Hawaii, this transit was under the radar. Just Jill and our lifetime friend and brother from another mother Tom, who Kathy knew was coming from his winter home on Maui, would know of my arrival. He met me in the lobby and we took a selfie then sent it to Kathy via text (and all others in our party) sitting poolside 25 feet from where I was standing behind them. Their heads began popping up and finally Kathy (among others) spotted me.

Way below the ground our family foundation was built upon are roots deep in love, respect, fun, and tradition. My parents took the best facets from their upbringing and created a beautiful family environment of gratitude, optimism, freedom, community, and compassion. Each of us, their children, serve our life experience from those values and the ingredients we’ve added along our own unique paths. 

One of those primary ingredients was noticeably absent in body but heavily present in spirit during Kathy’s Hawaiian birthday bash. Plumeria, palm trees, shopping, chocolate covered macadamia nuts, walking on the beach, good eating, and family. At nearly every corner in the past four days, I met the spirit of my mom. This was her kind of trip and like muscle memory, my family continues to walk the path she led us on for as long as I can remember. It’s difficult to look back and recall any of these best of times gathering that didn’t include her beautiful smile, constant hum, and wonder of all things beautiful, including plumeria.

One of the most meaningful spots I picked up my mom’s presence was in my three sisters. This was the first time we’d all been together in Hawaii since Kathy called this same party to mark her 50th

So much of my mom’s extraordinary life lives on in my sisters and for that, I am so grateful. Our time together around the pool, at several memorable meals, and shopping for gifts, all of it reminded me of the beautiful women that brought me into this world.

Being able to spend time with my Dad on this unscheduled trip was a gift as well. He’s the one that taught us the element of surprise and how hard work makes the pleasures in life possible. He’s demonstrated on more than one occasion that life was meant to be lived on this day only. At 86, he still has a few things on his list left to experience. As one of his children, his desires are what we hope to make possible for him. This is our opportunity to return the favor for all he and my mom did to make our childhood about as complete as possible. Although we longed for little, we had to earn it. With both parents operating respective small businesses, there was always plenty of work to be done. Being able to learn a profession side by side with my father and grandfather was by far, the most important source of life lessons. To this day, I awake every day to a 16×20 painting of my grandfather’s first furniture store in Burien. Painted in 1960, I use this most valuable possession as the catalyst for making each day count, just like the two generations previous to me did. One curiosity my Dad mentioned at the poolside breakfast spot was the north shore surf that tops out at 30 feet during the annual international surfing competition which happened to take place the week of our stay!

Jill went to work getting the rental in order and in 90 minutes we stood at the Bonsai Pipeline on Oahu’s stunning North Shore. To help my Dad access the remaining items on his list is gratifying to me. The man that has supported his children’s biggest wishes over the past six decades absolutely deserves to have his own met while he still can. I’m hopeful more surprises will find their way into my family’s life story. Each one leads to a set of more meaningful memories. Happy 60thKathy!