Joining Spirits on Airport Beach

In 1982, my parents made a trip to Hawaii, post a 25^th Wedding Anniversary celebration in our family home. At the time, the best “local” beach accommodation was the Outrigger on Waikiki. Halfway into their week-long stay, which included my little sister Annie, the hotel room phone rang. “Are you expecting something from home” was the voice on the other end. My Mom had no idea who was calling. She willingly gave out her room number and went back out of the lanai. Tears of joy and complete surprise when their 10^th floor door opened. My friend/roommate Randy and I had pulled off secret a Trans Pacific passage to join the party. In the days that followed, I learned about Mai Tais, Coconut Prawns, a Booze Cruise, Elvis, Don Ho, body surfing, and how much I loved the spirit of the man who brought me into this world.

My Awesome Dad

For a guy who lived just 100 days short of 89 years, #MyAwesomeDad never quit on life or anything else even though he was given several opportunities. He was just too excited to “see what tomorrow will bring”.  This was the guy who promised #MyMom he’d wait for her and write once a week when the President asked him to go fight for his country. This is the only man my fiery 5’0 maternal grandmother ever trusted to care for her oldest daughter. To demonstrate her endorsement, she bought him his first boat and outboard motor so they could fish somewhere other than the banks of the Duwamish. My Mom had never been out of King County and my Dad had a big world to show her. This blessed pair would celebrate nearly 70 years together. Like all couples that ‘toughed it out’ life had its challenges but following their parents example, the commitment to each other and eventually their children was solid.

My parents never skipped a vacation. Even when funds ran slim (running respective family businesses) they both knew getting “sun on my face” and “sand between my toes” was the recharge they’d earned, especially 25 Miles up Lake Chelan and on the beaches of the Hawaiian Islands. Once each of us kids had the means, we insisted they join our travels, a set of indelible memories I believe will never fade from the deepest part of my soul.

As vascular dementia began its ugly course with my mom, my sisters and I began reconsidering if airplane travel was a wise move. My fantastic partner Jill wanted to include my Mom and Dad on our spring break trip to Maui. We felt confident in our ability to manage the challenges and I’ve learned never to bet against Jill. It was a divine vacation. It was in the final moments of that 2016 passage I stepped onto Airport Beach, her favorite spot to “put sand between my toes”. I asked God to capture her spirit so that when this predictable path concluded, I could come back and visit her again.

We Never Saw It Coming…

When Jill booked this 2021 Spring Break to West Maui some months back, I had no idea of the gravity I was about to experience. Just three weeks ago tomorrow, #MyAwesomeDad grabbed his golden wings and dance shoes to join that neighbor girl he’d known since she was just 14. A stark contrast to the protracted health path of total memory loss, it was as if someone just flipped a switch and he was gone. Because he was living some of his best days and none of us saw it coming, that guy who never ran out of stories, especially about the early days with my mom, we thought he would live forever.

To honor someone that is your Dad, the creator of your business path, the guy everyone wanted another story from, the man that wasn’t afraid of trying anything once, the kindest man in the room, the first one to offer his visa when the check came, the guy who supported everything his kids/grandkids/great grandkids did, the guy everybody wanted to work for, the guy who never raised his voice but instead asked others to follow his example, this is whose spirit I brought to Airport Beach on this voyage.

Joining these two spirits was going to be a new challenge for me and by far the greatest calling of my life. In some of the most meaningful time we’ve ever spent together, my sisters and I have walked both of our parents’ home. Few things could be more important to us. The sacred moments are the purest form of gratitude, love, and grace.

Being able to take the beauty of that experience to the next level needed to be a divine appointment. Early each morning, post a few cups of coffee, I made the barefoot walk down Airport Beach seeking the spirt I’d asked God to hold for me. I felt as if I was trying to recreate the first time my parents met, a story I asked my Dad to repeat at least 100 times. Just a teenager, my Mom had been given a used bike and after sitting in a garage for years, both tires needed air. On his first day of work, sporting a white Chevron jumpsuit with his name embroidered, he met her next to the gas pump. Looking out her bedroom window the next day, she went back again and thus began one of the most important love stories of all time.

Few words describe my parents better than Love and Respect. With those family values come responsibility to exercise them, always. Somethings are easy to say and hard to do. At nearly 60, I’m still trying to consistently practice and live out these Way Finders. In my humble opinion, this mission to reunite their spirits was the ultimate opportunity to demonstrate the same Love and Respect I’ve seen them cast out, forever.

Last Wednesday, I’d taken about ten steps in the sand on Airport Beach. At my bare feet was a dried piece of coral in a perfect shape of a heart. Another 10 steps, a lei was blowing in the brisk wind on the end of a random piece of wood. The last time I gave my mom a lei, this was the exact purple flower. Sitting down, I had no doubt the moment had come. I was awash in Joy and immense Happiness. The spirit(s) of the two most incredible people I’ve ever known are once again reunited.

It’s hard to know what to do or how long to bask in this moment. I felt as if my mission was accomplished but to be able to sit with them together on the beach again, I never wanted this moment to end.

Mom and Dad: I’ll take it from here.